I had really planned to write an update/reflection post for today, the second anniversary of my cancer diagnosis. But the truth is I've been going through quite a difficult time recently and right now I don't think I can put into words (or subject you to!) the tangled web of emotions I am feeling. If you follow me on Snapchat (Stadybelle) then you will have seen some of the rawness of the situation over the past couple of weeks. But I am genuinely fine-it's just been all just very bad timing.
I had to have more surgery about 6 weeks ago when I grew two new masses around my right ovary and they, along with my ovary were removed by my surgeon, Dr Rajesh Devassy here in Dubai. Over the past two weeks my body has been subjecting me to an absolute nightmare and it's now been confirmed I am going through the menopause at 36. It's a lot to take in, understand and comprehend and admittedly there are times I feel overwhelmed at the moment with everything. I never imagined that I would ever feel so bad and like I had absolutely no control over my own body.
One of my doctors said my FSH levels (which detects whether the body is in menopause) were one of the highest she had ever seen when I got the results of my blood tests on Sunday and that my body is currently feeling like it has been hit by an earthquake-especially given I have been through so much in the past two years and that I am going through the menopause 15-20 years earlier than expected. That pretty much explains everything I have been feeling recently.
But clearly, I am not one to give up. I'm seeking treatment, being as kind to myself as I can and seeing this as a very temporary blip in the road.
This year has not been easy at all so far for various reasons, but on the plus side I am now pain free for the first time in 2 years following the operation 6 weeks ago, I am back at work and once I get my medication sorted for the menopause I think everything is going to be a-ok.
I'm so grateful to my family and the friends that have stuck by me through thick and thin, my amazing boss and the company I work for, for their support and understanding and of course my team of doctors here in Dubai for being there from day 1, 731 days ago.
I had cervical cancer-if you would like to read and understand more I have posted about my diagnosis and all my subsequent cancer posts can be found under this link.
Thank you for reading x